What do I want to do after college?

What do I want to do after college?

     After college I want to have a stable job as an Anesthesiologist living somewhere on the west coast married with two children (one boy one girl). I would have a modest house with a large backyard and a garden at the very end of it to grow fruits and vegetables, as well as a large deck with a grill and Jacuzzi. On the inside of the house I would have a large living room with a small T.V and a bunch of book shelves for books. Connected to it a large kitchen fixed with all stainless steel appliances: a gas range, a French door refrigerator, an oven, a big open sink, along with all the other pots, pans, and baking things I need, topped off with a large walk in pantry. Next to that a large dining room that fits ten. All the floors on the main floor will be covered in flat sedimentary rock tile and the basement in a beige carpet, as well as the upstairs. There will be a basement level which half of it will be a large play room/ man cave and the other half a panic room that is hidden behind a secret door disguised as a book case. The room houses all of the video data captured by all seven security cameras situated in and outside of the house. Also kept inside the panic room is about $5000 dollars in safe money, 5 hand guns with silencers, 3 high powered rifles, and a hunting bow (each gun will have over 20 cases of ammo each), enough food to last several people a month and a satellite cell phone (Just for kicks... there really is no real reason behind this). The upstairs will have a master bed room with a walk in closet and a master bath, and three double rooms each with its own small bathroom. At the top of the stairs will be a large spacious work room. Inside each of the rooms is a small secret door in the corner of the room that leads through a small tunnel behind the wall to a pole that slides down all three floors to the basement right outside of the panic room. Up in the attic will be an all padded room with nothing but a big window to see the night sky and star gaze.

     During my long work hours I would try my best to make all of the patients I have feel as little pain as possible and usually play a game with them before I administer the sleeping medicine. Such as the counting game where I challenge them to count backwards from ten and see how fast I can put them down.

Love?

What is love? Love can only be described by which words cannot be described. That makes absolutely no sense but who cares its love. Love has no real reason but to reproduce … kidding! love is something that people feel for one another. A feeling that you need to protect and care for that individual, one that most people may think they have but don’t really. Some people think they have fallen madly in love with one person but realistically they haven’t. they are just massively infatuated with one person. Love is unconditional love for another. Everything they do for them is unconditional. Love is when you would do anything for that person and expect nothing in return, but there does exist that non official rule that what is given should be at least given as well. Some people experience “love” and think oh I love this person so much and then two years later go oh that wasn’t love we are young and we don’t know love. Love is unconditional love. Love is where you can be completely honest with someone and know that they will always be there with you, someone who will look after you and be there whenever you want them too, and someone who just shows their affection for you in public and not even care. Some people think you can find lover just talking to people over the internet or just talking to them on the phone for long periods of time and then you start to think oh I like this person, but that is completely wrong. Love can only be confirmed if you have seen them and been with them for long periods of time alone. Love is a physical thing as much as it is an emotional thing. Nothing is worse than giving someone false hope and no chances, false hope robs the people of the truth and gives them no chances to be with you. I am really making no sense here. I can’t think and my head hurts but whatever and I hate my keyboard because I can’t type properly. but yea love is basically a test whether or not you can stay with someone alone for long periods of time, if you can’t you might as well not be in a relationship if you cannot commit to one. Because in the end that’s what it is all about. Being able to commit your life to one person. It makes me mad that some people refuse to show their affection to their significant other. It like why even be in a relationship if you aren’t even going to give your other the attention they need when they have already given you all the attention you deserve. For some people they need to be reminded daily that they are loved, some longer, but the reason that people should do nice things for their significant other is because it shows that they care and that they love them. As human beings we need to be reminded because humans are forgetful. We are God’s most flawed creatures. Its dumb how people think they can measure their love for someone, to me its either you love them or you don’t, simple as that. If you are unsure just leave, life is about committing yourself and there should be no such things as an unsure answer. I would rather live a life only have loved once instead of having my heart or love spread over the world, because once you love you never forget. Because there is a special bond that is formed between the two and usually lasts a lifetime. I have already failed. Nothing is worse than having tried and ended up nowhere. To some people it doesn’t matter to them and I know as people are reading this they are probably going “I have been through worse” but how do you measure that? The thing is pain is relative, to certain people certain things trigger things in their minds that cause them to become upset. It just depends what they have been through. And I know some of you are probably going though “I have been through A LOT” and trust me every story I have ever heard (and I have seen a lot) EVERYONE says that. The truth is everyone is the same by being unique. Same problems, same feelings, but unique in how we ourselves see them. Love should be just a simple yes/no with unconditional feeling where you don’t have to ask for anything. Because we are also very alone on this world. We are born one at a time, and we die one at a time. All love is, is trying to find someone to hold us through until we depart again.  There are very few things on this planet I truly love, and they can be counted on my one hand. Even though everything on this planet is temporary, my love for those things is never ending because in our minds, things never die unless you let it. Yes both men and women have their fair share of false love, but that doesn’t mean all guys or girls are the same (I have heard this countless time). Yes women do sometimes act shallow and just go out with any guy they chose and not give into consideration what the other person feels, and yes guys can sometimes be total slime balls. But not everyone is the same. And I know some of you are like “psh whatever, they truly are” I would like to see you last a day in the real world, because our life is not that long. Take into consideration schooling which can vary from 18- 22-26 years until you finish college. Add an extra 4 years to get yourself settled down, get those nasty college debts under control, find a nice woman maybe. 30- 40 you are getting on in years and you decide to have children. After forty, you are starting to lose your youthfulness, your vigor if you will. That is only a ten year window to have children and for some people it takes years to have a child.

     I hate people who are whiny.. or picky.. anything. It just frustrates me if you don’t try anything new because maybe for me I like to try new things every once in a while to keep my life from seeming boring, Im not saying people who don’t try new things are boring, but its just my poin of view. I hate people who criticize me and call me or other people ugly or fat or stupid… well you can go fall in a deep ditch because maybe you are you too. I hate people who make comments on other people’s appearance or thoughts, just because they think differently from you, doesn’t mean you can make nasty comments about it, and you may not think they are nasty but they are. Just stop and think for a moment on how you would feel if they said it to you. You would probably say “I don’t care” when deep down you probably do because you are just as flawed as everyone else, no one on this earth is perfect. I hate whiney people, I hate people who mock others, I hate people who just do stupid stuff for no reason, I hate people who are really lazy, why can’t people just love. Just be quiet shut your mouth and love. Be happy. No more hate. Sometimes I cant help but to hate people, because that is human nature, we just hate people. We would rather kill off anything or anyone that may oppose a threat to us, and the people whom I hate pose no real threat to me because I know I can take care of them, but they just annoy me, I have deemed them not worthy of living on this earth. They are a worthless waste of space and if it was up to me they better beg for mercy for I will have no mercy for them. I do not give out chances easily.